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The truth is, we don’t have the slightest clue of what’s going on right in front of us.

Case in point: last summer I met your typical Italian-American goombah at an aperitivo on the Isola one night.

Super nice guy; friendly, well-groomed, successful career—the whole meatball.

He was in Rome for a few months on a very specific mission: to meet and eventually marry a nice Italian girl.

I asked him how his quest was going and the sound of his bubble bursting must have been audible from across the piazza.

But after talking to him for a few minutes I came to realize that his ideal “Italian” woman bore a striking similarity to Snookie from the Jersey Shore and looked nothing like the Italian women that I knew. He probably would’ve known how to handle Snookie—but I’m quite sure that he had underestimated the mortal danger he would have encountered if, by some random chance, a real Italian woman would have shown some interest.

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For years they’ve assumed that “I don’t like you” is not to be taken seriously, whereas “I like you” is synonymous with “let’s go to bed.” This new honesty puts them off because it neutralizes their advantage in the hunt.

Herein lies the conundrum and perhaps one of many reasons why the birth rate among Italians is among the lowest in the western world.

American men come to Italy to meet a nice Italian girl, only they’ve misjudged the peril and they lack the necessary skills to compete, so they are largely ignored or perhaps even mocked for their naivety.

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